Raising Thankful Hearts: Gratitude as a Family Value

"The most acceptable return a benefactor can receive from those on whom one bestows favors, is a countenance testifying the gratitude of the heart. How acceptable it must be to God when we make this return, showing to all, by a cheerful, happy countenance, the gratitude with which our hearts overflow towards God for the many favors in this life, and God’s great promises for the life to come"
—Catherine McAuley, Foundress of the Sisters of Mercy

Gratitude is an extraordinary practice that, when cultivated, can transform our hearts and minds. For parents raising teen girls, this practice is not only an individual journey but also an invaluable lesson to share. As Catherine McAuley so beautifully expresses, gratitude radiates through a cheerful and happy countenance, serving as a reflection of the heart’s abundance. Teaching and modeling gratitude for our daughters is one of the greatest gifts we can give them, shaping their perspectives and fortifying their spirits for life’s challenges.

Gratitude Beyond Thanksgiving

The warmth of Thanksgiving—a table surrounded by loved ones, brimming with food and laughter—makes it easy to feel grateful. But what if we didn’t reserve this feeling for special occasions? What if gratitude became a daily habit, helping us and our daughters navigate the ups and downs of everyday life?

For teenagers especially, who often face stress from academics, friendships, and the pressures of social media, gratitude can be a grounding force. It’s not just about teaching them to say “thank you.” It’s about cultivating a deeper awareness of the blessings, big and small, that enrich their lives.

A Shift in Perspective

In times of stress or sadness, it can be tempting to think a big change is the answer—a new school, a new friend group, or an escape from responsibilities. However, as parents, we can gently remind our teens (and ourselves) that a shift in perspective can make all the difference. As Psychology Today suggests, being gracious in our gratitude and not taking the good for granted is a mindset that can be cultivated with simple yet meaningful practices.

Encourage your daughter to reflect on these questions:

1. What small everyday things do you have now that you would have been impressed by 5 years ago?
   Perhaps it’s a friendship, a skill she’s mastered, or a breadth of knowledge that has enlightened her. These realizations remind us how far we’ve come and how much we have to be thankful for.
2. What do you have right now that your 100-year-old self would look back on fondly?
   It might be the freedom to pursue her passions, the closeness of family, or even the simple joys of youth like laughing with friends at school.
3. What’s something in your life that you take for granted but others don’t have?
   This could be a supportive family, a safe home, or opportunities for education. Recognizing these blessings fosters humility and appreciation.

Practical Ways to Foster Gratitude

Gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s a practice. Here are some ways to incorporate it into your family’s daily life:

• Start a Gratitude Journal: Encourage your daughter to write down three things she’s grateful for each day. Make it a shared activity, with everyone in the family contributing at the dinner table or during a quiet evening moment.
• Gratitude Walks: Take a walk together and talk about the beauty of nature or simple joys you notice along the way.
• Express It Out Loud: Model expressing gratitude by thanking others sincerely and encouraging your daughter to do the same, whether it’s for a friend’s kind gesture or a teacher’s guidance.
• Acts of Kindness: Gratitude often grows through giving. Volunteering as a family or writing thank-you notes to people who’ve made a difference can help teens experience the joy of gratitude firsthand.

Gratitude as a Lifelong Gift

As we teach our daughters to embrace gratitude, we equip them with a tool that will serve them throughout their lives. In a world that often emphasizes what’s missing, we can show them the joy of cherishing what’s already there. Gratitude doesn’t require perfection or extraordinary circumstances—just an open heart and a willingness to see the blessings in front of us.

So, as Thanksgiving approaches, let’s savor the moment. But more importantly, let’s commit to making gratitude an everyday habit, showing our teen girls how to cultivate hearts full of joy and appreciation.